Warriors Unite

I’m Carla Mouton, I have schizoaffective bipolar mood disorder ii, ADD and anxiety. So what? I drink my medicine prescribed by my psychiatrist every day and I live a most-of-the-time normal life. I don’t even know what counts as normal? It’s probably like that very plain burger you buy when you’re running out of money, a piece of overcooked meat in a hamburger bun and maybe a pickle. Anyway, I see a psychologist weekly and sometimes life isn’t a fairytale, but who’s is?

But because I have a mental illness and sometimes acts differently because of it; I’m seen by most people as a weirdo, freak or attention whore; like so many others.

There is a stigma surrounding mental illness, and it needs to stop. People should know that people with mental health problems don’t suddenly turn into a werewolf and eat their families. We’re Warriors, we battle our unseen enemies every day, just like a diabetics  need their insulin daily.

We need to end the stigma surrounding mental illnesses by talking about it. Sometimes these types of emotional bullying can lead to bad relapses, skipping or not taking prescribed medicine and even suicide. If more people talk about something it becomes less strange. Remember the Game Of Thrones series premiere? Oh, a series about winter and a lot of people dying that you learn to love? That sounds boring. And then some people watched the premiere and now everybody is a GOT zombie. We should at least get it to Fifty Shades of Grey level of okay to talk about.

And who other than the people fighting their demons every day to start it. Not be ashamed of their mental illness, not define ourselves as freaks, looking after ourselves, saying no and why you can’t drink or stay out too late or being afraid to take pills in front of people. If we are not ashamed, so will society see we’re not werewolves.

So let’s unite Warriors and fight not only to go on in our daily lives but also to change society’s perception.

8 Replies to “Warriors Unite”

  1. You are not alone, we are not alone. You are not a weirdo, we are not freaks. Most of this week I only slept 2 hours a night if that much. Yesterday I had a crash and did some things I should not have out of pain, loneliness, fear, regret, ending with 1am texts telling me what a monster I am. And today I have slept like 8 hours already, I wish there was a balance. Thank you for making your voice heard and sharing your thoughts.

    New look of blog is cool, just note the top banner image does not scale and gets cut off on mobile and firefox.

  2. YES!!! Own it! I kept my bipolar disorder a secret for a long time, even once I was for the most part stabilized. But then I found more and more people like you standing up and speaking out and It inspired me. Soon I decided to do the same. It’s time to stop the stigma! Warriors unite 🙂

  3. From the inbox:

    I was diagnosed with bipolar I in April 2015. Since then I have been religiously seeing my Pdoc and trying medicine combinations. I finally feel like my mental stability has plateaued but I am not the same person. I have to admit that I miss some of the mania. It gave me ample energy to clean, put in an 8 hr day at work and also made me very creative. The new me likes to sit in bed and watch tv, sleep and barely work part time. I’m also struggling with the side effects of a 20 lb weight gain, massively thinning hair, brain fog & bipolar induced A.D.D 😉 I’m seriously thinking about quitting the meds because the side effects are too much for me. I know I shouldn’t and I feel like I’m being selfish for even considering it. I’ve had “body issues” my whole life so the weight is a HUGE issue (no pun intended) and I guess I’m pretty vain because my hair, that I could once barely wrap a hair tie around a ponytail twice I can wrap around 4 times. I’m feeling ugly, fat and dumb. I just wondered if you had felt this way before, like you wanted to give up on it.

    Thanks for your time ♥️

    1. Hey, thank you for sharing. I am actually working on a side-effect post at the moment. It’s tough. I hate it, I think that’s what I hate the most about this condition, the ever-changing liver-killing meds, but we need them. I know mania is amazing; sometimes I wish it was like a damn switch, but as you know,sometimes it leads to pretty bad consequences, and it feels like you don’t have control over your brain or impulses.

      So, we drink the meds. And I too am losing hair like an old man and I’ve gained so much weight when I was too nauseous to eat. And I just keep on gaining, and people don’t get it. They don’t get that a perfect diet and exercise routine will fix everything, so I truly hear you. And I too have ADD because of the meds, or it’s definitely worsened by it. I spoke to my doctor, I told him it makes me more depressed when I feel ugly, fat and have other side-effects that other people can see. Or your brain is all jumbled, and you stutter when you speak and you embarrass yourself, and your handwriting doesn’t look the same because of all the shaking. So, I spoke to my doctor and he helped me, I’m definitely not where I want to be yet, but that’s why we’re warriors. We are fighting every day; against side-effects, feelings, depression, mania, psychosis, you name it; but it really does get better. And then it worsens again; but according to my experience and research deciding to skip out on your meds makes it even a harder fight to fight. I truly think all warriors feel the same way as we do, but everything will be okay again, it may take long – but it will. And I’m sorry, I really do feel the same way as you do. Do yourself a favour and get yourself a copy of Kay Jameson’s “Touched With Fire”. There is a movie based on it as well, you can still be creative, although you don’t feel like it. Keep on fighting and remember to be proud of yourself when you feel awful but still get things done.

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